More Loss and Lessons Learned

I am now well into week 2 (it really is 17 days) and have mixed emotions on the number I pulled this last week. My goal was to get out of certain digits which I did (barely), however I am a little angry with myself because I know I could have done better :-( Let me back track and talk a little bit about some of the "enlightening moments" I had last week.

I was checking my mail one afternoon and saw my neighbor with his AC guy outside. I asked him what was going on and he told me that since he is now retired and totally bored he thought it would be entertaining to have his insurance adjuster come out and see if there was any damage done by our last hail storm that he can claim. He ended up with $12,000 worth of repairs. He then told me that our neighbor across the street was able to claim $14,000. Naturally this got me thinking and as you can imagine a call was made to our insurance agency. To make a long story short our house has been hit and we have been awarded $20,000 worth of repairs. The repairs include: two new windows, new screens, two new AC units, roof repair, and the outside and inside of our house painted.

I am soooo happy about getting the house fixed (don't get me wrong, it does not look like a complete train wreck, but our AC units have been on their last leg for some time!), however the stress involved is something that I must learn how to manage and could sabotage my weight loss efforts. I did not even realize how OCD I was until I found out just what had to be repaired and I could not eat my stress away.

Side note: from here on out please pray for my family because the emotional roller coaster they have had to live with this week has not been healthy for anyone.

So, getting back to my story, did I mention that I am having a few of my gal pals fly in from around the country to spend a scrapbooking weekend at my house at the end of Feb? I also homeschool and can not teach out of the house when the roof is being repaired (to loud) or the house painted (to many fumes). My stress level and wanting to eat started to rise when I started sorting all of this out in my head.

Then to top it off, I had a break down in communication with my sister and that was the hair that broke the camel's back. I did not go off the diet per say, but I could have made a lot better choice. However, the whole week did shed some light on some of my underlying issues and now I can work on them.

1) I thrive in routine and structure.
2) I want people to get along.

Now, that I have recognized those I can deal with it -- that is a good thing, right? I am still sorting through my first issue. The best thing I have come up with is that I need to accept that life can not always be planned (I had a few contractors that I had to deal with this week that came while I was teaching. So, guess what? I am beating myself up for not being a "better" teacher/mom because our day was interrupted. How messed up is that?). In the mean time as a short term fix I have plans to take Logan and myself to the library when the work is being done and learning there. I also accepted how I am (even if the rest of the world thinks it is crazy...it is who I am and I can't live in my body if I try to conform to society)and made a commitment to not schedule things during school hours. I am not bending over backwards and sacrificing my child's education or my peace of mind to be more convenient for another person or company anymore. After all, these contractors are gonna make bank off of us, so they need to do what is in my family's best interest.

Regarding the second issue....sigh....I wish I could say that is all sorted out. I thought it was, but come to find out it is not and I have just got to accept the fact that sometimes people are just going to find the wrong in things and believe what they want to believe. No matter what I do to rectify the situation or deal with it they are just gonna think what they are gonna think and that is on them....not me. I am done apologizing for assumptions made off of something that was not meant (and in some cases even said). If something that I say or do is hurtful than of course I will try to right the wrong. However, if an apology is made and the person does not respond the way I think they should (there is my OCD nature coming out again) than it is okay for me to be done with the topic at hand and move on....that is on them.

I must applaud you if you managed to sit here and read this huge blog entry. Why have you stuck through this whole thing? Oh, right! You want to know if I failed miserably this week or was successful. Well here it is:

I lost 2.4 pounds this week. That brings my total loss to 10.2. I have 69.8 pounds to go until I reach my goal.

Now that I have had the opportunity and taken the time to sort through this I am determined to do better this upcoming week. I want to pull more than 2.5 pounds. I will pull more than 2.5 pounds!