Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Ready to Run....Well....Walk

I have been wanting to take up running for about 6 years now and have not gotten around to it. Partially because I always had a kid with me and could not be consistent with it. See, I work out at the gym 4 - 5 days a week alternating between cardio and weight lifting. However, the gym provides child care so it was really a no brainer. Running is a different story! I can't use the gym child care if I am out pounding the pavement. Well, now that the kids are in school at the same time from 8 -3 everyday I am gonna finally do it! Today I bought this:
Yep! It is a year long running journal. Now don't get me wrong there is no way that I think I can just hit the road running. I predict that I will be walking for at least 6 weeks before I can even jog. Let's face it I got a big butt and the last time I raced my kids down the street it went numb. I was just running along and I could feel my junk in my trunk shaking. It then started to burn and sting. It really hurt. Finally my whole rear just went numb. I really want a butt bra because I think that would help, but regardless I can't let my fat arse stop me from my dreams.

Now, don't get it twisted. I am a T&A woman. I love tits and arse to say the least and I love mine! I have no intention or desire to lose them entirely. I just want to run for no other purpose then it has been a desire I have had for a long time. Sometimes (okay ALL the time) when something is nagging at you in the pit of your stomach it means you should give it a go. Like Nike says "JUST DO IT!" 

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Just Thinking....

I don't even know if this is worthy of a blog entry. I mean I don't have anything cute, funny or all that earth shattering to talk about. I just have not been on here for a few days and thought I needed to post something. I guess I can tell you about what I am working on. I am actually writing a book and a cookbook. The book has been rolling around in my head since I have been 11 years old -- 25 years. I have been working on it for about a year and it should be done by mid November. Do I think it will get published and be a best seller? Probably not, but this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach to write it will be met. I am simply writing it to get it out of my system. I have no expectations that anything will come of it, though I must confess I do dream about being a best seller and author. You know, travel around the country doing interviews and talking about relevant issues that affect families. Yeah....I know....pipe dream, but it is fun to think about the possibility.

I started putting together the cookbook as a comic relief from the book. The book topic is fictional and pretty heavy. Some days I walk away from it just drained and I have to let the other part of my personality out -- sarcastic and silly. So, I started this warped cookbook that has actually turned out to be a lot of fun. My family and friends are getting a copy of that for Christmas this year. It really is a labor of love.

Anyways, getting back to today, I had a revelation that kind of knocked me on my bum. I really am not wanting to talk much about it because I am bothered by it. I have a lot more changes that need to happen because I am such a hot mess on so many levels. An acquaintance mentioned in an E-mail that you have to take care of yourself and then your kids. It made me think of a quote that my teenage character says in my book and it is so true. I hesitate to put it out there, because it is like my cornerstone of my fictional piece and has been just my little jewel, treasure, and secret of sort. However, I need to state it in public...maybe to make it more real? I don't know....but I got to put it out there in cyber land for the moms, dads, friends, family, aliens or who ever else reads this to chew on. Are you ready?

"I hear grown ups talk about how resilient kids are. You know how we bounce back after a divorce and all that.I can't help but wonder why they would say that? I mean if we kids are so resilient than why do grown ups blame all their problems on their childhood?"

Monday, August 15, 2011

First Day of School

Today was the day. The day that I have been dreaming about for the past decade. Yes...that is right DECADE! It is the day that all three of my children are in school full time. I never will forget the first day of Kindergarten for Logan and thinking "I am never gonna be alone. By the time Parker goes into first grade this kid will be almost 11!"It is not like I had some kind of sense of urgency for them all to be in school and out of my hair. I actually enjoy my children quite a bit, but the fantasy of alone time was alluring.

So, here it is. Today is the day. I have joked on every other first day of school that this day --today -- would be the day that I did cartwheels out of the school parking lot. Well, no cartwheels were done. I mean, even if I wanted to there is no way I could get my body to move that way. So here we go!

Oakwood is where my kids go. It is an A+ school according to national standards and is excelling. Basically all that means is the kids are conditioned to take tests really well! Yep! They know how to take a test and politicians love this because our property taxes are higher because the value of our home is higher because our children know how to take a test! This is so guaranteed to make each student successful in life -- the ability to take a test!

I say that all dripping with sarcasm, can you tell?

Moving full speed ahead!
Ummm......yeah! You better believe it! My kids were so stylin' on the first day. Check them out!

First up is Mr. Parker. He is entering into first grade and is wearing a combo if Children's Place shirt and Sketcher shoes.

Annie is entering fourth grade, although I think she is really 16 trying to get out of her nine year old body. She is sporting a sparkly shirt, sparkly bracelet, and pink sparkly converse.

Heeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is Logan! Logan is entering 5th grade and is lookin' fly in his Pokemon shirt and Nikes.

Once we got the annual "First Day of School" pictures out of the way we were off to school!

Of course what would be a first day of school without embarrassing at least one of the children? Of course I picked Logan! He is so over me. He was humiliated that I was walking to school with him AND taking pictures. Can you see the horror on his face when I took this?

 Yeah, I am so going down as the NOT cool mom this year ;-P

Then Parker, my little Parker who can push all my buttons and get on every last nerve totally warmed my heart by reaching up and grabbing my hand to hold. He did not let go until he was in line and even then he turned around to wave good bye and raced out of line to give me a last hug.

For the record I was doing fine with enjoying the day, until my little guy decided to hold me hand. Then I cried....I cried all the way back home and to the gym. Why must they grow up so fast?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Confessions of a Former OCD Homeschooling Parent

This past Friday was "Met the Teacher" at school for the kids. I don't know about in your household, but in our household this is like a big deal. The kids are so excited to be moving on up, seeing their friends, and meting their teacher for the year. I also enjoy this time. I use it as a way to see how the classroom is laid out, look through their desks, and check out their books. See, as a former educator I can tell a lot about a teacher just on how she has the desks laid out in her class -- however that is another posts for another day.

I would like to take a moment to get side tracked and tell you that there will be no pictures in this posts -- sorry :-(. However, I do hope that by writing this in purple it has given you the pop of color you need and gotten your attention with the large print :-P

So, where was I? Hmmmm.....I like this blue, so I shall write the rest of the post in it, okay?

Like I stated "Met the Teacher" is a big day in our house, but this year it was huge. Why? As you know (or don't...but that is okay cause I am about to tell you) I home schooled Logan last year for his fourth grade. I did this to catch him up and give him some much needed one on one work. I really loved teaching him, but it was pretty clear that this year, for 5th grade, he needed to go back to school. I am not for or against homeschooling. I think you have to do what is right for the child and family and not get hung up on the politics of it. I don't think public education is bad and I don't think homeschooling is the best. Both have their strengths and weaknesses, but the important thing is doing what is best for the child -- last year my kid needed to be home schooled and this up coming year he does not. End of story. Moving on.

Back to black text. Sorry, but I like black. It is what I am used to. I don't like change. So back to black. Once again I chase rabbits. Where was I?

So, the first teacher we met is Logan's (the kiddo I home schooled last year). I immediately love his teacher. Love the way her room is set up. Love that she has been teaching for over 2 decades. Love that she seems to know my kid even though she has not  met him yet -- she did her research and that shows me she cares and is professional. Not loving that she is a huge Steeler's fan and all of that is all over her room, but we all have our faults right?

Then, after I get over the honeymoon of positive emotions and about ready to cry and scream for joy, reality hits me. Worry sets in. I start to think "Oh no!  What if I did not do a good enough job teaching him last year? What if I have slowed him down? What if his whole entire educational career is going to fail because I sucked at giving him what he needs?" Panic hit and I asked Logan to hand me his math text book....okay....good.....I taught him everything in the first two chapters. Whew! Oh, wait what is that in chapter 3? Is that adding and subtracting unlike fractions? We didn't get that far! Oh no! He is gonna fail and it is my fault. Wait...this is 5th is okay that we did not get there because I taught him 4th grade, not 5th. Duh!

Oh, and for all of those homeschooling parents who say "my kid is two grades ahead!" That is such a crock of crap! I mean what the heck are you basing their grade level on? Something that the homeschooling curriculum gave you? News flash! They don't use national or state standards to create their curriculum and a lot of it is OLD. They don't revise like the public school system does. Word of advice print out the state standards for the grade your kid is in and look through them periodically if you are worried and please don't brag to me about how far along your kid is because I will laugh at you in my head. Granted they may be far ahead, but they are human and what they gain in one area they will not be ahead in another. They are just like every other kid so please get over yourself.

Sorry about the rant. I know some will get their panties in a knot over what I just said, but I have met so many homeschooling parents who tell me "My kid is two grades ahead!" Is that really a good thing? Wouldn't it be better if they could just be kids for a little while longer? I just don't understand what the rush is...I mean they are kids for goodness sakes.  Oh I am gonna get it for everything I just said!

So, getting back to my story (yet again!) I then went through the reading material in his class and I started to hope that I had actually taught him what he should learn in 5th grade. Why would I even want that? So he can be bored in class and fall behind because he knows it and tunes out and does not tune back in to learn new stuff when it is presented? Ugh! I am such a mess. How badly did I mess my kid up?

We then go to Annie's class. She is going into fourth grade and once again I am totally impressed with the teacher and her room. It then dawns on me that she is going into the grade I just taught Logan so I start to rummage through her textbooks to make sure I covered it. The onlooking parents thought I was nuts....see since I have just offended the homeschooling parents now I should offend the public school parents. right? I mean it is only fair. If I am gonna go down I should just burn all my bridges, so here goes!

Public school parents tend to leave it all up to the teacher. I know this as a teacher and a parent of a children in school. We get laxed and just assume that the school will teach them what they need to know. We help with homework, but we don't have an urgency like we should being that they are our kids. We lazily hand over the responsibility to the teacher and hope for the best.

Have I made you mad yet? I know....I are different. Your child is different and the community is different. I get it. That is what makes us unique or differences, but stereo typing can be so fun and stupid, so I just had to do it.

Getting back to my daughter's class....I looked through her books with urgency and was relieved that I stayed on track with Logan the previous year for the most part. I was really pleased that I met hims social Studies requirements and I was like not even trying. I was more worried about reading, spelling, writing, and math! Score that we got that done too! Woo-hoo!

So, at the end of the day I have to accept that I have done the best that I could do for Logan. I have lead my little horse to water and now it is up to him...sort of....I mean I am sure that I will slip into that laxed public school parent :-P

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

$165 to Get my Bathroom Back is Worth It!

I have a house with three bathrooms, yet the children like the Master Bathroom best. I must confess that I did encourage this in the beginning...I mean it was just easier to have everything in one central location. Everything in easy reach and everything in MY control. However, now that they are getting older it is not the best arrangement. In fact, it gets me down right frustrated! See, my favorite time of the day is shower time. That can turn into my worst time of day if I am met with a wet soppy towel (or no towel usually because my kids use them and dump them on their bedroom floor) or my shampoo or conditioner are spilt (I use Victoria Secret "So Sexy" line and let's just say that my daughter really likes it too!). Now, in the morning, the children are coming into my bathroom to brush their teeth and do their hair. Uh....NO! This morning I went into my bathroom that I had recently cleaned and nearly popped! Not only did my little angels manage to spill toothpaste....more like smear toothpaste....all over my shiny counter they also got into my styling aid and used half the bottle! Again, I use Victoria Secret. I was mad....

I stood there and cried.....

I then decided that enough is enough!

So, after I worked off my frustration at the gym, cleaned the outside of the refrigerator, organized my Tupperware cupboard in the kitchen, and did two loads of laundry I was able to calm down enough to have a little chit chat with my children. Now, please understand that I was still mad at this point and I was trying to be as logical and come up with a solution to keep them out of my bathroom and out of my stuff. I am so glad that my kids are at the age where they are wanting to smell good and look nice, so I knew I had to handle this delicately to encourage that, but also scare them out of my bathroom!!!!!!!!

I had them first help me clean out the three drawers in their bathroom and we came up with a list of things that each of them needed. Then we hit Target and I let them pick out their soaps, shampoo, combs and so on. They were super duper happy that they got their own stuff and it smelled good and promised to use only I know my job was not done. So, off we went, back home to put it away and have a little chat. I called each in to the bathroom and made them hang up their towel and put their stuff in the right drawers. I then told them that for the next week they were not even allowed to touch their stuff until I knew they were responsible to use it properly. I mean, if they are going to have grown up items they need to treat them as such. So, for the next week I will be walking them through the steps of what to do in the morning and in the evening, but knowing that they will not ever use my shower again is well worth it!

Hopefully this will work. It is hard not to dream of a towel that is just mine...ALL MINE!!!! Please please please my dear little ones stay out of my bathroom forever! Thank you, your mother.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Happy Homemaker?????

I have decided that I really like being at home and I don't wanna return to work...I don't wanna darn it.

I know some may think that is a mistake and would not be their choice, but it is mine. I even considered going back to work because I felt so spoiled that I had an option to be at home. So to be fair to all of those families that have moms that have to work I was going to go back to work. You know, suffer with my fellow womankind. Then I realized how stupid that was...I have to make the choice that is right for my family -- not the suffrage of women's movement......or what ever it is called. I also understand that a lot of women enjoy working outside of the home. That is okay. I am not one of them and that is okay to.

Besides I like cleaning.

Who else is going to teach the new puppy manners and tricks?

Did you know that I love to cook?
I mean....I REALLY enjoy cooking.
So, I shall be a stay at home mom....well....until the school district calls to offer me a job. Then, I might reconsider because goodness knows I have a hard time saying sit silently hoping that the state does not have enough money to hire and I can continue doing what I love -- being at home. What can I say? I am a sh muck.......

Saturday, August 6, 2011

T.P. Tower

For the past 13 years I have been under the impression that I am the only one that knows how to change a roll of toilet paper in this house. It is not like it really bothers me. It is habit for me to go through the bathrooms everyday and see an empty roll and a new roll sitting somewhere near the toilet. Seriously, it takes me under 30 seconds to change the roll so I just do it....along with picking up the trash that seems to always find it's way to the floor. Oh, and why do my children think they live in Mexico? They wipe their bums and throw it in the trash! EW! I guess I should be happy they are wiping their little hinies, right? I digress....where was I? Changing toilet paper rolls and this wonderful tower that one of my kids  built --------------------->
My kids proved to me last night that they do indeed know how to change a roll of toilet paper. One of them decided to take the rolls that I had under the sink and build a tower on top of my toilet. I guess they figured that would just make things easier? I did laugh. I thought it was clever and cute, but then I looked at the top roll and the toilet paper roller. That top roll is not at it's 100% and the roller was EMPTY! So......someone other than me knows how to unload the roller which means they can reload it.

Thank you my children for the humor and insight into just what you are capable of doing around the house :-) Mom know expects you all to start to change out toilet paper rolls. A small step for the children and huge milestone for this Mom!

Friday, August 5, 2011

It Eventually All Comes Out

This is not exactly what happened in our house a few weeks ago. I wish it were something as colorful as a box of crayons, but it is not.

 I had the children take the dogs out to go to the grass to do their know what I mean....It was really hot in the valley and our puppy was really small at the time. She had not quite figured out how to use the doggie door, so we would take her and the other two outside every few hours. We stayed out there with them because we did not want them in the heat for to long. It was like they did their business, we saw, and let them back into the house.

On this one particular potty break all three of the kids came running into me screaming about how Connor (our oldest dog) had pooped out a blue collar. Now, I don't know about you, but personally speaking if it went down and came out then I am not worried about it, so I never went to check. I don't do doggie poo duty. Sorry, I changed and dealt with enough baby and toddler poo to last me a lifetime. Poo duty belongs to the kids and hubby.

Apparently my children were really hung up on the fact that Connor crapped something that was more than poo. Upon my husband arrival home from work they promptly told him the same thing: Connor pooped a collar. He told them that did not happen and my kids stuck by their guns. Finally, our of pure annoyance my husband said "Why don't you go dig it out of the poo and if it is a collar we can wash it and put it back on the dogs!" My two older children thought that was nasty, looked at their father in pure disgust (I think Annie may have thrown up in her mouth a little), and dropped the subject. Parker on the other hand disappeared for a few  minutes. We knew something was up because we were actually able to have a conversation without getting interrupted -- I love him, but he is high maintenance.

A few moments later we hear Parker saying "You were right Dad. It was not a collar. It was just this." He then presented us with a blue cloth used to clean Charlie's glasses with. The horror did not quite make it across our face at first. We were still processing the information....then we realized that our son had actually dug through the crap to pull out what he thought was a collar.

To this day I laugh to the point of tears when I think of the story and I want to vomit. Nasty...funny....I am so confused on how I should be feeling about this. The morale of the story is don't challenge Parker to do something -- EVER -- unless you really want him to do it.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Oh The Places You Will Go (Or The Places We Went!)

Oh the weird and bizarre places you will go on vacation! We decided that this year for our family vacation instead of going to an amusement park we would do something different (and cheaper!). We decided to go on a road trip across California. I grew up in the beautiful bay area and was excited to see the natural wonders of my childhood state with my family. Se we loaded up the rental and off we went!
 The first stop on our trip was Huntington Beach. We quickly learned that if you are walking a cute puppy people will stop you -- men with no shirts on and women in bikinis. It did not matter that we are middle aged out of shape parents of three....we had a cute puppy and that made it all right!
 We then hung out on the beach....
 and walked along the pier in which we got to see a man catch a shark while fishing! It was bloody and gross.
 Back to the beach we went to play in the sand.
 Some of us got sand on our nose too.
 Of course we had to play in the ocean.....

 and get buried alive.....
 Then we were off to South Bend Lake Tahoe where we fished.....
 and hung out at the lake.
 Some of us (Parker and I because we don't get sick high up) went to the very top of this mountain (9000 feet elevation) to see the 12 mile lake.
 Of course we took lots of naps.
 Then we went back to the lake and played in the sand and found bugs.
 We played in the cold lake.
 They had some man to man bonding time.
 And played in the lake some more.
 Ah! Beautiful isn't it?
 Of course we had to build mountains out of sand.
 And enjoy the wildlife.
 And take in the smallest details of nature.
 Then we loaded up the car and drove to Georgetown to visit with my aunt and brother.
 That means we went horseback riding. Aunt Lynnette got Teddy ready to ride.
 Then we saddled up.
 Of course we wanted to go fast on Teddy.
 However, we had to learn how to use the reigns before we could take off.
 Some of us got a handle of it a little faster than others.
 Still, some of us needed little of any assistance at all and were able to ride Teddy even when he ran uphill.
 Of course there were the road apples to watch out for....
 and then we got crapped on.
 I developed this all over my body.
 After going to Urgent Care I learned that I was allergic to this:
 Then Charlie got bit by a Brown Recluse Spider and had to spend two nights in the hospital in Placerville California.
 Needless to say we were really happy to see this again:
Over all it was a good trip...minus the all over itchy rash and hospital stay. On the bright side I am fairly certain that we have maxed out our deductible for the year with medical. That means that we don't have to pay anything to see a doctor until next year. I guess now would be a good time to take advantage of all those specialist I wanted to take the kids too since it won't cost us!

Hmmmmm.....I wonder what 2012 vacation has in store for us?