Saturday, June 25, 2011

Another Year Has Come and Gone

So.....another year has come and gone. This last Thursday I celebrated my....



are you ready for this?

I celebrated my birthday.

Now, I am no fan of birthdays. For the last 12 years I have celebrated my 25th birthday on the 23rd of June. I know you are sitting there doing the math in your head, but if you are coming to the conclusion that I am 37 you are wrong. As the former math teacher I had to give you a little math problem to keep you on your toes. So here is the solution. I celebrated my 25th birthday for the 12th time. So that means that I celebrated it for  my 25, 26, 27,28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, and 36! So, I am 36 years old. Did I trick you? No? LOL!

Moving on to the important things of the what I have learned over the year and what do I value......nuggets of wisdom I can pass down to future generations...and all the rest of that sentimental crap. Forget that! Let's get on to the important things -- PRESENTS! I bought myself a present in honor of my birthday and it was every possible anti aging cream Mary Kay has to offer that can fit on my shelf:
 Yeah! You got that right! I will fight aging with all my might! Well......until it involves needles and then I will surrender. Sorry no botox in my future. My daily ritual cleansing, moisturizing, and protecting will live on in my life. Not to mention the microderm and weekly masks that are suppose to keep my complexion even a lovely. See I want to look like this for as long as I can: nose is crocked. I don't like that. How much is a nose job? Does it hurt? Getting back to my point....what was it? Oh, right! I am admitting that I am completely vain and do not want to wrinkle or look getting back to that....I have used Mary Kay for 24 years now and even sell to myself. Do I think it is the best thing out there? just happens to not irate the heck out of my skin and I can get it cheap since I sell to myself :-D

 So, why is this important this year? Well, in my warped little OCD mind I knew that come year 36 I must up the ritual. I got to do more and take greater care of my skin than I have in my past because I am so much closer to 40 than I was a week ago....yeah.....right.....whatever. Anyways, just to give you a little glimpse into my morning, night, and weekly routine here goes:

In the morning I rinse my skin apply Time wise Day solution, sunscreen anti aging moisturizer, anti aging eye cream, lip balm, and wrinkle fighting lip junk followed by foundation primer, Time wise anti aging foundation and pressed powder. Then of course my make up. Did that wear you out? Yeah! Me too! Be glad you don't have to do it everyday because you don't have vanity issues like I do. Geez...I need help. Up until my 36 birthday I used powder foundation and no primer, but now that I am getting up there I had to take it to the next level - liquid (ew! I hate the feel of make up on my skin).

 Ready for my nightly routine? No? Great! Me neither! Here it goes: cleanser, Night time Time Wise anti aging serum, Intensive Moisturizer for dry skin, eye cream and lip balm. Are you exhausted yet? Wait! There is more...Twice a week I add the following to my morning beauty routine: mask and special hydrating serum to keep my complexion smooth and even. I do this on Thursday and Sunday joke. I am that anal that I have it written down so I remember to do it. Then once a week I add the following to my evening routine microderm and the serum that goes with it. I do this on Tuesday nights.

So, now that you know I seriously should be spending my money on therapy instead of anti aging crap I have more to add. I also get my hair colored blond and highlighted to hide the grays on my brunette mug. See....I am not a blond. I just play one in real life. I also have my entire face dipped in wax because mother nature is trying to turn me into an ugly old man and I will not surrender darn it! I will not turn into an ugly old man! Unless I have to inject things with needles then bring on the beard and uni brow!

I bet you are thinking it takes me forever to get ready in the morning. Ironically, I hate doing my hair and make up every day. There are other things I would rather spend my time on so I only take 20 minutes. I am like Lightening McQueen....Speed...I am  speed! There you have it! That is my 36th birthday insight and dirty little confession. This is me on my 36th Birthday (I really do need to look into a nose job. That thing is far to crocked! LOL!)
 Finally I would like to say cheers to another year with a nice Mojito!
Oh, and I am not really gonna ever get a nose I said I don't like needles and would really rather stay funny looking at the end of the day. Let's not even get me started on my boobs.....sigh.......