Ever Feel Like This?

I jumped on the scale today...just for a check. I know it was stupid to do now....after the fact. I mean my weight in day is on Monday. I don't want to get into the psychological reasons on why I decided to check the scale because it is done. I did it. Now I just need to move on and deal with the thoughts I had after I saw that number......that number that has not changed!!!!! Grrrrr.....

In the past when I would see something on the scale I did not want to see I would throw in the towel.

Jump Ship.

Fall of the Wagon.

Make a batch of brownies and eat the whole pan along with a pint of Ben an Jerry's Phish Food ice cream. Yeah, I just admitted that I would do that. For real! No kidding. Shameless I know, right?

This time is different.

This time I am gonna do it.

I am gonna make it.

That is right, my head is on straight and my attitude is strong. I have a will and when I have a will I make a way -- even if that means taking a cannon and blowing a huge destructive hole in a wall that dares to stand in my way!

So, what do I do? First I tell myself "you are a complete moron for jumping on the scale! Don't do that again! If it ain't Monday it ain't weigh in day!"

Next, I pat myself on the back for not gaining anything. In my mind what a no change on the scale means is that what I lost I really did indeed lose! Yay!

Then, I find the reasons on why this is happening....or maybe I should call them "excuses". Really. Are they really "reasons"? I don't know about you, but my reasons are really just another way of saying "excuses". Oh, and I have the bestest reasons of them all! My reasons are medical! Yeah, my doctors (not one, but a whole team of them) agree that I have a medical condition that makes weight loss darn near impossible and slow at it's best. See I have "Thyroid disease" AND (yep, I have more than 1 reason --- woo-hoo! I am epic failure waiting to happen and people have to pity me because of it!) "Metabolic Syndrome". There it is.

That is it.

End of story.

Now, please please please let a PHat chick live in peace and give me my brownies that I can go eat quietly in my leather recliner watching my big screen HD TV that is set on "Desperate Housewives of Beverley Hills".

Wait.

That is not gonna work for me this time.

After all Champions don't use excuses.

I am a champion and I will win at this game!

Back to the reason on why I maintained and did not lose. I am really looking for a reason. Not an excuse disguised at a reason, but a reason. I think I finally figured out the difference between the two. A reason is something that I can fix. Something I can put my finger on and yell "hey, you are doing this and that is gonna stop!" An excuse is the reason you give for throwing in the towel. A reason is something that you find and then change.

My reason can be found in my food journal. The funny thing is it is a simple fix. See the last few days I have been drinking waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy tooooooooooooooo much diet soda and not enough water. I also have had some rather high in sodium foods. I know enough about my body to know that I swell with sodium and blow up like a bloat fish. So, instead of passing the brownies I am gonna pass on the diet soda and salt!

I am not gonna worry about if that does or does not work right now. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. "Tomorrow has enough worries of it's own" according to the Good book. What I can find today is wrong with my diet is sodium. My points are good and I feel great. The only thing broken in my system is sodium. I am not gonna fix something that is not broken, so I will concentrate on lower sodium and that is NO MORE DIET COKE! ;-)

Wow! That was a lot of effort and emotional garbage to get through just for stupid "Diet Coke". However, it is done. Over. Finished. I am good to go, so bye for now!